Merry Happiness & Such:

Posted December 24, 2010 @ 3:28pm | by S. Cutshall

A lot of bad out there, but there's a lot of good too.

Tons of loneliness & pain, also though... there's much hope intertwined together.

People are trying, and some aren't.

Big plans never get off the ground while small ideas sprout into huge trees of change.

I tell folks, but mainly Chloe [because she's young enough, not jaded, not peeved, not willing to give into the ways of most adults], "You keep going & pushing, you stay honest and straight on your path in your heart & brain, you keep seeing all the good while taking in the bad in a way that lets you recall it for change & hope... and you'll make your place in this world."

I, sometimes, forget my own words though so it's good to have a smart, young, honest, fearless daughter: they remind you of what you once said.  It's good.

Life gets lonely... I have friends who have lost people, I have lost people, but mostly they, me, probably You... well, we try our best to carry on through the darkness.

On this, the Eve of Christmas 2010 [all of ours, our last one, we will never get another for 2010, maybe try and remember that], I am reminded of many memories: my childhood, the little thoughts [like sleeplessness, that kind of excitement that exceeds word or sense, that need to Know and Experience something huge]... and the call for yearning, for doing better.  Always, Better.

I miss too much to list, I will miss much from today & tomorrow by next year, I am already & set to begin missing next year & the year after that too... it's our nature: re-call is only so big [be it both: thankfully, & sadly to our detriment].

I don't look forward to bought-gifts any longer... it's different for me at 47 years old these days.  No, I look forward to watching those I love, those I know, those I don't know yet, smile.  I look forward to experiences and then, someday, the dusty-but always amazing, memories.

I am shooting for something here, right now, within these words I am typing, and as usual I am missing my mark, but I am trying... maybe it will resonate, maybe not. 

Maybe it's The Gift?  The Gift is maybe just that: The Memories, The Experiences, The Love & Smiles?


I didn't nail it, I tried, sorry.

Here's one though:

I am always trying for something better, and I hope all of you are too.  If we all do, together, something great is going to happen and then... we all have it, the experience-together: as One.

Enjoy, all of It.  I need reminding of this.


Peace & Love,



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