Latest Sad & Shitty Note...

Posted September 10, 2014 @ 1:39am | by S. Cutshall

...in my new ongoing saga of "Dude With Crumbling Body".


Two or three months back I would notice this very weird but always short-lived bizarreness whereby while walking it would feel like I was sinking. Literally. I can dig it's not possible to sink into hard concrete or asphalt or dirt or gravel (unless it is a dream or movie or video game) but it felt very much like it.

And it was unsettling.

I've mentioned it to my wife Amy and her take was to monitor if it was before or after eating, early in the day or late, hot or cold out, day or night.
That gave way to nothing specifically helpful or revealing.

It, over time, has increased. Along with it has been this difficult to describe thing where my eyes want to fix (stare?) at objects--so strong, this urge, that at times I nearly have to speak outwardly, "Scott, NO" to get them back onto what is one, two or three feet in front of me otherwise I don't know who or what I would run into.

Unnerving.

It's left me not really trusting my abilities to ride a bike.

I've ridden three times as it has increased on walks... the first went great (even though I was very nervous for more than half the ride--only cooling out once I felt like there'd be no surprises), the second--also great but earlier today I went out and BAM--nope the foggy/light headed/sinking bullshit -once exclusive to walking only crossed over onto the saddle along with me- sent me home after just a mere 12.xx miles.

I am scheduled to get a full mock-up of blood work done soon... after that, ear/eyes testing plus a CAT-scan to look at various other suspects.

Walking and falling over I am cool with (not totally, truthfully) but riding a bike in traffic and plowing over--no, I am not down with that.

So between all the joint/arthritic bullshit that's already hitting me--I am officially off the bike until this gets revealed.

Trying to stay positive but I cannot lie... I am pretty disheartened and depressed (worried too).

 
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